Night Sakura
by Lady Forlorn
Summary: Little oneshot of Yuyuko's suicide. Yukari x Yuyuko if you choose to interpret it that way. I swear I normally don't write this kind of stuff, I just did it for a friend. Just a reminder that it's never worth it, and to please never scare me like that again.


A/N: Is it just me, or is Night Sakura of Dead Spirits a far more suitable theme for Yuyuko than Ghost Lead? Because that's literally the only reason why the title is 'Night Sakura'.

Suicide had always fascinated Yukari Yakumo.

Not because she necessarily enjoyed violence, but because she could never fathom wanting to kill herself. Why would she? She was one of the most powerful beings in the universe. She could hold her own against gods, and she had nearly eternity to enjoy that power. Letting all that opportunity go just on a whim would be an enormous waste. The idea that humans would kill themselves out of love or hatred or hopelessness was completely alien to her.

It was why she'd laughed in Yuyuko's face when the girl had expressed her lack of desire to live. She hadn't laughed because she found the idea of utter desolation to be hilarious. It'd been millennia since she'd felt something like that, true, but she hadn't forgotten how terrible it had been.

She'd laughed because of disbelief. Yuyuko had the power of death at her fingertips, the ability to send souls screaming into the nether as she pleased. That level of power had taken Yukari hundreds of years to master, and the human girl could do it with about as much effort as a snap of the fingers. And she wanted to kill herself for it.

The laughter had died down after a while. "You're serious," Yukari had realized. Yuyuko hadn't replied, only turned away.

Maybe she could've saved her, even then. She could've run away with her to some far-off utopia deep in the mountains, where Yuyuko wouldn't have to be afraid of hurting anyone. Somewhere they could spend the rest of Yuyuko's life together without a care in the world.

Yukari could've promised her something, anything, to give Yuyuko hope that there was something worth living for. But she'd done nothing, hoping in vain that it would pass without incident. Some part of her refused to believe that someone as pure and kind as Yuyuko would give into despair so easily.

Now, as she stood over her best friend's bleeding form in dumb shock, she was paying the price for her idiocy.

Yuyuko coughed weakly, jolting Yukari's paralyzed self into action. She pulled Yuyuko's upper half onto her lap, trembling fingers fumbling for the gash that was quickly turning Yuyuko's dress crimson. The knife that lay next to her was stained red almost to the handle. It was deep, too deep, and Yukari knew with a sinking feeling that she was long gone. The thought registered surprisingly slowly in her head.

"You're going to be just fine," Yukari lied. She arranged her face into her trademark lofty, condescending expression. "It's just a flesh wound. Shame, Yuyuko, I would've thought you'd disembowel yourself properly."

Yuyuko's lips were a bloody scarlet, and when she opened her mouth to chuckle, Yukari saw that her teeth were lined with red. "You and your jokes. Even to the end."

"It's not the end, you silly human. I'm the expert here at mortal wounds. See, all I have to do is just stop the blood, and then when it's not bleeding as heavily we'll get you to a doctor. And when you're well again I shall be very angry at you for scaring me like this."

"Yukari.." Yuyuko's chest shuddered. Her breath was coming in stuttery gasps. "I want you to know. It's not your fault. I chose this. And." She had to pause again. Yukari could hear the faint but unmistakeable death rattle coming from deep in her throat. "Tell.. my mother.. I'm sorry."

"You'll be telling her yourself," Yukari retorted. Her glove, desperately trying to stem the flow, had already become slick with blood. "You'll be fine. Just fine."

Yuyuko smiled bitterly. "Oh, Yukari," she breathed, and then she died.

It had begun to rain. Yukari wasn't quite sure when, but some point after Yuyuko had stopped breathing rain had started to come down, first as a gentle drizzle but slowly building up in strength into a torrential downpour. Yukari was still leaning against the Saigyou Ayakashi, where she'd found Yuyuko, but as immense as the tree was it offered little protection against the sheets of water pouring down.

It was odd, because even though the sky itself was crying, Yukari hadn't shed a single tear. She knew she was supposed to be feeling agonizing grief, that she should be screaming and sobbing because of the pain, but she felt empty. _My dress will be ruined,_ she thought suddenly, and giggled hoarsely. It wasn't funny, not at all, but it seemed her emotions had stopped working properly.

The rain was washing away the dried blood that had formed a halo around Yuyuko's body. Soon all the blood was gone, leaving just faint stains on Yuyuko's and Yukari's clothes. Now she could almost pretend that the wound in Yuyuko's side was a light one, and that any minute now her best friend would open her eyes. Maybe they'd have an indoors picnic this time, since otherwise the water would ruin the snacks. Yuyuko would draw something and Yukari would watch as the black strokes of ink slowly formed an image. Yuyuko's brow would furrow as she produced a near-perfect likeness of whatever she'd chosen to draw, and finally with a satisfied grin she'd hand the drying paper to Yukari for her to keep.

But Yuyuko was still, and Yukari continued to sit underneath the cherry blossom tree. The warmth of life had long ebbed from Yuyuko's body, but Yukari herself was so cold from the rain that she could barely tell.

"Maybe I'll tell you a little story," Yukari said suddenly. Yuyuko always loved stories, especially on dreary days like these. "The other day, I was shopping at a human village, when this kitsune youkai challenged me! She put up quite a fight as well. I was impressed, so I decided to let her live. If I see her again, I'll be sure to tell you right away. She seemed fairly intelligent for a beast youkai, actually. I might make her my shikigami. I do need a new one."

Her best friend didn't respond, obviously. Yukari pulled her closer so that her head rested against Yukari's shoulder. She wrapped her arms around Yuyuko's waist. They fell asleep together like this sometimes, when their flower-viewing outings dragged on into the night and they were both too comfortable to move.

Yukari knew that at some point she'd have to get up, take Yuyuko to the Saigyouji household and explain the suicide, relay her last words. Already, somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind, she was already forming a plan. A way to prevent Yuyuko from ever hurting like this again. A way to see her best friend again.

But she didn't want to move. She didn't want to think, or feel, or scheme. And so there Yukari sat, letting the rain wash over her.

It was a long while before she left.


End file.
